


Discovered

by hannahfanficrobron



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Affairs, Choices, Complicated Relationships, M/M, Sex, Smut, Waiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-27
Updated: 2016-06-15
Packaged: 2018-07-10 13:37:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 13,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6987235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hannahfanficrobron/pseuds/hannahfanficrobron
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set back in April 2015, when Aaron was staying at Home Farm. What would happen if Chrissie were to discover her husband in bed with Aaron? What would the fall out be? And who will Robert choose when it comes right down to it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Chrissie wasn’t getting a reply from her texts. When she called Robert it went straight through to voicemail, so it was either switched off, or out of battery. It wouldn’t matter, she’d go and surprise Robert at home. He wasn't expecting her back for another couple of days yet.

She unlocked the door and looked around. No one around, though Robert’s leather jacket was hanging by the door. Still here then. She went upstairs, hearing noises from the bedroom, and before she opened the door, she had a sixth sense that she knew what she was going to see. Her husband in bed with another woman. Pushing open the door it wasn’t a massive shock to find two people in her bed. What was a shock was that the person on top of her husband wasn't another woman, it was another man.

“Oh God,” she whispered under her breath, before her palm covered her mouth in shock.

They were so involved with each other they’d not even noticed her presence. She watched as her husband groaned. “Oh God, Aaron,” he whispered against his lovers neck. Aaron Livesy then. She hadn't recognised him, so completely shocked was she. Out of all the people she could see seducing her husband, he wasn’t one of them.

“Oh… do that again,“ Robert murmured. Aaron twisted his head and opened his eyes, seeing Chrissie standing there. He froze completely, only able to utter two words.

“Oh shit.”

* * *

 

**Earlier that morning.**

“You know we could just… skip both and go back to bed,” Robert suggested softly. Aaron’s eyes flicked to his lips, wondering if it was worth fighting the temptation. He could still feel Robert, his arse throbbing pleasurably after their first round only an hour or so ago. But he knew this wasn’t going to last forever. Soon enough, his wife would be back, and they’d return to sneaking around, for a rare stolen half an hour together. A long morning in bed with Robert really did sound too good to turn down. Still staring at Robert’s mouth, he saw his lips tilt into a tiny smile, knowing what Aaron’s answer would be.

“Yeah,” Aaron said softly. “Sounds great.” Robert moved, switching his phone off before pulling Aaron in for another soft kiss, one filled with promises of a few private hours in bed together.

Upstairs Robert pulled Aaron into his arms, kissing him softly. Hands slipped under clothes, pulling them off slowly, different from the intense desperate passion they usually had. Because now they had all the time in the world to enjoy each other. “Lie down,” Aaron whispered. Robert smirked, doing what he asked, comfortable even though he was naked.

“Now you’ve got me where you want me, what’re you going to do with me?” he asked, eyes bright as if daring Aaron.

“Do you ever shut up?” Aaron asked, straddling his thighs and leaning over to kiss him.  
“Not likely.” Aaron smiled briefly before kissing him, their chests pressing together as Robert‘s hands on Aaron‘s hips pulled them so tantalisingly close together.

“I’ve got a way you could shut me up,” Robert said, reaching up for Aaron and licking his earlobe. “I want to taste you.” The words vibrated through him, sending all the blood in his body south. They shifted on the bed and soon Robert’s on top of him, planting wet sloppy kisses down his chest before reaching his cock, taking him in his mouth.

Aaron adored how this felt, Robert’s wet mouth around him, his hands so tight on his thighs, Aaron knew it’d leave bruises. Robert started humming, the vibrations from his mouth making Aaron gasp, curling his toes as he tried to hold back, wanting this to last.

“God even now you can’t shut up,” Aaron said, voice strained and faint. “Must love the sound of your own voice.”

Robert took his mouth off of him for a moment, staring up at his lover. “I love hearing you moan more,” Robert said. “Love hearing you shout my name, like I’m the only one you think of. I’m the only one you could imagine sucking your cock so well.” He returned to sucking Aaron, who a few moments later moaned Robert’s name, like he’d been asked.

“R… Robert, ah please!” Robert took his mouth away when Aaron was so close to climax that it was nearing painful. “Oh, you selfish git.”

“Sorry,” Robert said, lying. He wasn’t sorry in the slightest. “I want you,” he said, fingers already reaching for Aaron’s hole, the desperate need to touch him palpable.

“You’ve already had me,” Aaron murmured cheekily.

“Don’t care. I want you again.” Hearing those words from Robert was like a drug to him, being wanted, even if only in the moment it made Aaron’s heart thump hard in his chest. All he ever needed was to be wanted by Robert, even knowing it wouldn’t last. “God, I can’t get enough of you,” Robert said under his breath, finger pushing in. Aaron was still lose enough from their first encounter that it didn’t burn or ache until he added a second.

“Careful,” Aaron said. Robert sighed, pulling away from him to grab the lube and a condom quickly. While not touching, Aaron moved quicker than Robert though possible. He kept Robert on his back, a hand stroking his cock. Robert tried to speak, but all that came out was a strangled groan and Aaron grinned. “Getting to you, am I?” Aaron asked, twisting his fist around his cock in a way which left Robert completely speechless. That was an accomplishment. 

Aaron leant over Robert’s chest, trying to find the place… there. It’s an unremarkable spot on Robert’s rib cage, but Aaron knew how he reacted to it, how much he loved it when he lightly bit him there. He has kissed, tasted, sucked and stroked every part of Robert’s body, he _knows_ deep in his soul exactly what his lover likes, what he needs that he clearly can’t get from his wife. He lightly bit Robert there, and, predictably, his body bucked, groaning loudly. Aaron chuckled into his skin, loving having Robert right where he wanted him and did it again.

“God, Aaron, please…” he moaned, voice more ragged than usual.

“Please what?” Aaron loved making him beg. Robert Sugden was always so damn smug and confident, getting under his skin, having him panting like this for Aaron’s touch was such a delicious turn on.

“Fuck me,” Robert begged.

“I thought you were going to fuck me,” Aaron whispered in his ear, tugging his hair slightly harder than necessary.

“I want to feel you, Aaron,” he said. “Please.”

“Mm,” Aaron said. “As you asked so nicely.” Aaron quickly grabbed the lube and pushed two fingers inside him impatiently.

“Oh God, Aaron,” he moaned as his fingers stretched him. Aaron brushed his fingers against his prostate, purposefully slowly.

“Oh, do that again,” Robert begged. Aaron did, but something caught his attention. He turned his head slightly and…

“Oh shit!” Aaron hissed as his eyes fell on Chrissie, watching them, her jaw hanging open.

“What?” Robert asked urgently, looking into his eyes, gone wide with worry. He followed Aaron’s gaze, his eyes falling on his wife. Robert moved faster than anyone thought possible, pushing Aaron off of him.

“No, carry on,” Chrissie said. The matter of fact way she spoke made Robert wonder how long she’d been stood there watching them in the throes. “I’ll be burning that mattress anyway.”

Chrissie walked away, Robert grabbing any clothes he could reach, raced after her, leaving Aaron alone. He was beginning to panic about how this would go, how the wronged wife would react. Especially to him, her husbands gay lover. He got out of bed and dressed quickly, hearing raised voices from downstairs. He felt hollow from the words he overheard from Robert.

“… mistake… meant nothing…” God, that hurt. “One off…” Down right lie. Aaron zipped his hoodie up and hurried downstairs, wanting nothing more than to get out of there.

Unfortunately there was no way to get out without walking past Robert and Chrissie, who were shouting in the hallway, right in front of the main door.

“Sneaking out, are we?” Chrissie said with venom.

“I don’t want to cause trouble,” Aaron said, wanting more than anything to get out of there.

“Oh, really? Screwing my husband is your version of “not causing trouble” is it?” Chrissie said, desperately.

“You should go,” Robert said under his breath.

“Trust me, I’m trying,” Aaron countered.

“Come on, not got anything else to throw at me?” Chrissie asked as Aaron walked towards the door. “Ruin more of my life while you’re at it?” He didn’t bite, he just wanted to get out of here.

“It was just one time,” Robert said, as Aaron opened the door. “I know it’s what people say, but it’s the truth. A stupid mistake, it meant nothing.” That was too much for Aaron, and he couldn’t resist turning back to Chrissie.

“Don’t listen to him, Chrissie. He’s lying.”

“And you’ve got a great moral compass,” she said sarcastically.

“Ask why he was late to your wedding,” Aaron said, wanting to hurt Robert as much as possible. “Ask where he was on new years day when he was supposed to be watching your son who ended up in hospital.”

“Even then?” Chrissie asked Robert, tears in her eyes. “You were sleeping with him all this time? Oh, my God”

“You can’t ever keep your mouth shut! Get out!” Robert shouted angrily to Aaron. Aaron got some weird thrill out of seeing him getting under Robert’s skin, hurting him. Because those words of Robert’s hurt him more than he’d care to admit. Pretending he was nothing, that they were nothing. That the last four months had meant absolutely nothing.

“Oh, getting to you am I?” Aaron asked. “Stop treating people like dirt, Robert.”

“If that’s the case why did you keep coming back for more. Couldn’t stay away from me, could you?” Robert spat out with venom. “Kept crawling back to me, desperate, pathetic, even when I said no.” Aaron couldn’t help it, he grabbed Robert‘s shirt, pushing him up against the wall. He’d got to him, and couldn’t stop his reaction. Even with his hands almost around Roberts neck, he hated the way he still wanted him, body almost pulsing with the need to have Roberts touch on him.

“Get your hands off me!” Robert hissed.

“You weren’t saying that half an hour ago,” Aaron said, eyes burning bright.

“Well, I’m clearly in the way of this lovers spat,” Chrissie said, walking away from them into the house, leaving them alone.

“Why do you have to make things worse?” Robert asked him, pushing Aaron‘s hands away from him, so he wasn’t pinned up against the wall any more.

“It can’t get worse, Robert,” Aaron said. “She’s found us having sex in her bed. You think she’ll forgive you?”

“Just get out,” Robert said, shaking his head. Aaron didn’t want to stick around anyway, so he left, leaving Robert trying to beg his wife to forgive him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was asked for a second chapter, so here it is. Though it's not the make up chapter that was asked for, sort of staying with how the boys were in the show when the affair was revealed. Anyway, hope you enjoy!!

Aaron barged into the back room of the pub, surprising Chas who was sitting at the kitchen table, checking over the order from the brewery.

“Hello mum, how are you?” she said sarcastically.

“Having a shower,” Aaron grunted in her general direction before racing up the stairs. Chas listened to him go, instinctively knowing that he hadn’t spent the night here. An opinion which was reinforced by Robert arriving fifteen minutes later, looking ready for a fight, the energy almost fizzing from him.

“You don’t even knock any more?” Chas said. She’d barely finished the words when Aaron came down the stairs, dressed in a T shirt and jeans. He looked ready for a fight. They both did.

“She kick you out then?” Aaron asked.

“Yeah, I think that’s likely, don’t you?” Chas wondered if she should leave, but the energy in the room felt violent and she felt that if she left, one of them could quite possibly kill the other. Certainly need an ambulance at the very least. And neither of the men were paying her the slightest bit of attention anyway, she couldn't remember being this invisible.

“So… what’re you here for?” Aaron asked. “We’re done.”

“What?” Robert said, not comprehending. His face seemed blank, and Aaron knew he wasn’t getting it.

“You said we meant nothing,” Aaron said, almost spitting out the words. “That I meant nothing to you. I can’t Robert…”

“I was just…”

“What? Just saying that to smooth things over with your wife?” Aaron asked. “She saw me on top of you, you think she’ll forget that?”

“I should go,” Chas said, thinking that that really was too much information about her son. And neither of them had killed each other yet, she'd take the risk. They were quiet until she’d left the room.

“Aaron, I can’t lose her.”

“You don’t love her,” Aaron said. “You love her bank balance.”

“Oh, that’s low.”

“Is it, Robert?” Aaron asked. “If you loved her you’d never have slept with me in the first place.”

“Aaron, don’t make this a competition.

“It’s not,” Aaron said. “I’m done. I’m out.”

“You’ve said that before,” Robert said. “You don’t mean it.”

“I do,” Aaron said. “I give you something she can’t, and yet you still want to go running back to her. Go on, then. I won’t stop you.”

“Aaron…” Robert spoke softly, but Aaron’s patience had run out. Hearing him beg Chrissie for a second chance was still running through his head. He couldn’t forgive Robert for that. Even though when Chrissie found out, they both knew she’d be angry, Aaron hadn’t expected it to hurt that much.

“Get out.”

“I’ve got nowhere else to go,” Robert reluctantly admitted.

“Not my problem,” Aaron said. “Spend some of your wife’s money, get a hotel somewhere. Alone,” he added pointedly. Robert looked like he was torn between shouting, punching Aaron or walking out. In the end he didn’t get the chance to do anything. Aaron left first, leaving Robert alone in the back room of the Woolpack, his life in shards around his feet.

* * *

 

At lunchtime Aaron felt calm enough to share a drink with Adam at the bar. It hadn’t come out yet, not public knowledge but it wouldn’t be long. Chrissie wouldn’t keep her mouth shut, and why would she? In fact, Aaron was surprised she hadn’t come to find him yet. Or look for Robert, assuming that he’d have run back to Diane, which was exactly what he’d done.

“Adam?”

“Yeah?” he said easily. Aaron bit his bottom lip, wondering what to say, how to say it. It probably should come from him, the reason why Robert had invested the money in the scrap yard, Adam's business as well as his own, but the words wouldn’t come. “What is it?” Adam asked more seriously, seeing Aaron struggle.

“Don’t matter,” he said, shaking his head, giving up the fight. 

“Aaron, what is it?” Adam asked, putting his pint down and knowing it was serious.

“Looks like you’re about to find out,” Aaron said, burying his head in his pint as he saw Chrissie walk in. Her eyes were wild, scanning the room and Aaron hoped she was looking for Robert. No such luck. Clearly wanting to make a scene, she stood in front of Adam and Aaron, staring at him. Aaron wanted to disappear, but knew if he left, she'd just shout more and go after him.

“Is he here?” she asked.

“No,” Aaron said. Adam looked like he’d totally lost the thread of the conversation.

“Why?” she asked, her face a picture of hurt. “Why would you do it?”

“Eh, leave him alone,” Adam said. “I don’t know what you’re on about…”

“Of course you don’t,” Chrissie spat bitterly in his direction. “He’s been sleeping with my husband.” Unfortunately the pub had gone quiet just before she loudly said that last sentence. Everyone must have heard, including Chas who’d just come out from the back.

“Eh?” Adam said, looking at his best friend and unable to put that mental image together. “You what?”

“Leave it,” Aaron said quietly. It wasn’t worth it. Chrissie wanted to make a spectacle of him, that much was clear.

“Why did you have to go after someone you can’t have?” she asked. “Go on, don’t you owe me any explanation? Why you kept crawling into bed with my husband?”

“Cause he kept begging for it,” Aaron said, prodded into it. He saw it coming, but let her do it anyway. She slapped him, more for show than anything else.

“All right, maybe I deserved that,” Aaron said. “But I’m not the one you’re married to. Why you don’t you go and find him?” Chrissie’s eyes were burning and she was clearly livid, but the audience in the pub was beginning to make her uncomfortable now that she’d lost some of her urgency.

“Stay away from him,” she couldn’t help adding.

“You’re not seriously going to take him back?” Aaron asked.

“Aaron,” Chas said softly from behind the bar.

“What, leave the way clear for you?” Chrissie said.

“I don’t want him,” Aaron said.

“Yeah, right,” she scoffed. “I saw you with him!“

“Oh, worried because your husband was enjoying himself a lot more with me than he ever did with you?” Chrissie launched herself on him, hitting anything of Aaron she could reach before Paddy and Adam pulled her off of him.

“I think you should leave,” Chas said to Chrissie.

“I’m not the one who’s done anything wrong!”

“I’m going,” Aaron said, finishing his pint in one and leaving the pub. Leaving all the villagers staring after him, wondering over the outburst they'd just witnessed.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't planning to do more of this story, but several people asked for it, so I'm going to do a few more chapters.

Aaron’s left shoulder was throbbing. Chrissie had managed to claw her nails across his skin before Paddy had separated them at the pub, and it stung. He needed some fresh air, so he walked up to the scrap yard, taking his time. When he opened the door to the cabin, he saw Adam sitting there.

“You want to explain?” he asked, lounging in his seat as he watched Aaron behind his desk.

“Nope.”

“Aaron, come on.”

“I’ve been sleeping with a married man,” Aaron said bluntly. “Anything else?”

“This is why Robert suddenly had an interest in investing money here, isn’t it?” Adam said, putting it together. “It was all about seeing you.”

“Yes.”

“Aaron!” Adam said exasperated. “What if he pulls the money?!”

“He won’t.”

“Oh, because Robert Sugden is so trustworthy,” Adam said sarcastically.

“Stop worrying about the business,” Aaron said. “He won’t pull the money.”

“I hope not because we can’t afford to buy him out, Aaron.”

“Robert won’t pull the money,” Aaron repeated.

“How could you be so stupid?” Adam asked. “You must have know he’d be nothing but trouble.”

“Yeah, because you’ve always made really smart decisions when it comes to who you sleep with,” Aaron said, baited into it. “Look, I don’t want to fight with you Adam. I just… it happened and then it was too late to stop. Believe me, you can’t make me feel any worse. You know I wouldn’t purposefully go after someone who was married. You know me.”

“Yeah,” Adam said, relenting slightly. “Thought I did.”

That hurt Aaron, because his best friend did know him. “What do you want?” Aaron asked. “An apology for finding Robert’s smirk so irresistible?” Adam glared at him, but within moments both of them were laughing together. No idea why, the situation just seemed so absurd.

“You should have told me. I can keep my mouth shut.” Adam’s attitude had relaxed now that it was out in the open.

“I know,” Aaron said. “I do trust you.”

“Good.”

* * *

 

More than an hour later, there was a brief knock on the cabin door, then it opened and Chrissie came in. Her eyes turned to Aaron and he could tell she’d been crying, touched up makeup aside.

“Adam…” Aaron said quietly. He nodded, taking the hint and leaving them alone. He looked at her, realising how out of place she looked standing here. Her perfect shoes, her designer handbag, her manicured nails… nothing about her said she’d deign to come to a cabin in a scrap yard to talk to her husbands lover. Yet here she was.

“I really don’t want to talk,” Aaron said, feeling discomfited by her showing up here. “I have nothing to say to you.”

“I can still smell you on my bed sheets, I think you owe me a conversation,” Chrissie said sharply. Aaron guessed she had a point and he stood up, not liking feeling at a disadvantage.

“What do you want?” Aaron asked.

“Robert’s been giving me… platitudes all day, and I… I don’t know why, but I have a feeling you won’t lie to me. And he is.”

“What do you want to ask me?” Aaron repeated. To be fair, he owed her this, the truth. He’d never set out to be the third person in a marriage, but it’d happened. And he’d never felt good about it either, but Robert… well, Robert had been too damn tempting.

“Are you in love with him?” she asked, and Aaron respected the fact that she was looking directly at him, not as if she were afraid of the answer, but more that she needed to know.

“Yes.”

“Is he in love with you?”

“I’m not the one you need to ask that,” Aaron said quietly. He couldn’t define Robert’s feelings, though he thought the answer was yes. Hoped. Even though he was angry at Robert right now, he needed to know he still loved him.

“He swears blind he isn’t in love with you,” Chrissie said. Aaron couldn’t help sucking in his breath at that. It still hurt. Loving Robert was a big ball of painful moments all rolled into one.

“He lies, Chrissie,” Aaron said quietly. “I love him, but love doesn’t make you totally blind. I know his faults, I know he’s a liar.”

“He is a liar,” she said, looking down at the ground for a moment.

“Take him back, don’t take him back,” Aaron said. “But I’m not the first. He’s been with other men, Chrissie. He’ll probably be with other men after me.”

“How can you know that?”

“Do you really want me to go into explicit detail?” Aaron asked, disbelieving. “About how I know he’s had other men because of the things he does to me in bed?”

“No,” she said, shuddering as if trying not to think about it. Aaron wondered briefly if it was the thought of gay sex that disgusted her, or simply her husband cheating on her. Then decided he didn’t want to know.

“Why did you do it?” she asked. “You say you love him…”

“I do love him,” Aaron interrupted. He didn’t like his feelings being discounted.

“You can’t have from the beginning. So why?” she asked.

Aaron scoffed. “I’m a gay man living in a small village,” Aaron said. “I don’t have many options. When an attractive man offers me no strings attached sex, I took it. That simple.”

“I’m supposed to believe that he went after you?” Chrissie asked, her eyes going up and down his body as if considering the likelihood of that. Aaron clearly didn’t measure up to her image of her husbands lover. Aaron briefly wondered if he should be offended by that.

“Couldn’t stay away from me,” Aaron said, now enjoying himself. “Thought I was trying to blackmail him at first so he offered to pay me off.”

“How much?” Chrissie asked curiously.

“That really matters?” Aaron asked in disbelief. “Is it all money with you people? I’ve been inside your husband over and over again for months, and you care about the money?”

“Don’t,” Chrissie said, swallowing against the mental images that created in her mind.

“I can’t help you,” Aaron said. “So leave.”

“I want you to stay away from him,” Chissie said. With those words, Aaron knew she was planning to take him back. Even if she hadn’t come to the conclusion herself yet, she wouldn’t be asking him to stay away from Robert if she was divorcing him.

“I… can’t do that,” Aaron said. He wouldn’t lie, and the truth was he knew he wouldn’t be able to stay away from Robert indefinitely. The pull he had on him was too strong.

“Fine,” Chrissie said. “Then we’ll leave. He can’t be around you, Aaron.” He said nothing, watching as Chrissie left, feeling his heart drop. If Robert left Emmerdale… With her? Would he be able to get over that?


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in one day! Thank you to those who encouraged me to continue this, as I really had planned it to be just 1/2 chapters. Lets see how long it ends up...

Robert lay on his bed in the B and B, staring at the ceiling. His life had well and truly been shattered. And he had no one to blame but himself. Why had he thought sleeping with Aaron was a good idea, when in fact it’d been a horrible idea. A terrible, beautiful, seductive idea. The feel of Aaron’s hands on his body, his mouth, his tongue. Robert realised that fantasising about Aaron was making him rock hard, and he tried to push the thought of him away, not liking feeling this aroused when there was no one around to satisfy him.

When Chrissie walked in to his room it acted like an instant cold shower on him. “Chrissie,” he whispered, getting up off the bed. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

“I want to talk,” she said, wanting, needing Robert to shut up for five minutes. “I’ve been to see Aaron.”

“Whatever he’s said…”

“He said he loves you,” Chrissie said.

“He thinks he does, it’s not real,” Robert said, desperate. “Nothing with him was real.”

“I need you to tell me everything,” Chrissie said. “I can’t get my head around this if you’re constantly lying. Tell me the truth.”

“Okay,” Robert said, feeling like this might just be his last shot with his wife. “What do you want to know?”

* * *

 

An hour later, Chrissie sat perched on the edge of the bed, Robert sitting in the chair as she absorbed everything he’d told him. “Aaron said there’d been other men.”

“Aaron’s got a big mouth,” Robert said before he could stop himself. “There hasn’t been anyone else since I met you. Just Aaron.”

“You realise how twisted that is?” Chrissie asked, wiping a tear from her face. “No one else since you met me except the man you’ve been screwing for months. In our bed, Robert!”

“That was a mistake,” Robert said.

“What, the location or sleeping with him in the first place?” Chrissie asked. “I want… Robert, I believe marriage is for more than five minutes. I married you because I want my life with you. But…” she swallowed uncomfortably. “I don’t know how to deal with this, Robert. Gay?”

“I’m not gay,” he said firmly. “I’m bisexual.” She scoffed at that.

“You might have told me that when we met,” she said.

“Why? I don’t need to give myself a label,” Robert said. He didn’t like boxing himself in.

“You had an affair, Robert!”

“I know,” he said. “Please, please forgive me.”

“If…” Chrissie started. “If we want to make this work, I can’t be here. I can’t be around Aaron, seeing him everyday, knowing he’s had his hands all over you, his body inside yours. I can’t see him.”

“So… what’re you saying?”

“If you really want me, us to work, I might be able to get over this. But if we’re even going to try, it can’t be here. I need to get as far away from this village as I can. I can’t have you seeing him.”

“You… want us to leave? Leave Emmerdale?”

“Yes,” she said firmly. “I will never be able to cope seeing him around, never knowing if you’re off with him or not.”

“I need to think about it,” Robert said.

“You need to consider?” she asked in disbelief. “Your lover or your wife?”

“It’s not that simple,” Robert said. “Vic’s here, my family is here. It‘s my home. It’s not a choice between you or Aaron.”

“That’s exactly what it is,” Chrissie said. “So choose.” She didn’t wait for an answer, instead getting up and leaving Robert alone.

* * *

 

Robert was pacing around his room in the B and B, wondering how to repair his life. He didn’t want to choose, he wanted them both. He loved them both. How had it come to this? He needed Chrissie, she was the plan for the future. Perfect, beautiful wife, rich house, nice easy life… then along came Aaron. Who fucked it all up. But one thing Chrissie did have right, it’d come to the point that he had to make a choice. He just wasn’t entirely sure what he was going to do.

* * *

 

“How’re you holding up?” Chas asked Aaron, bringing him a pint in the back room of the pub.

“Fine,” he said. Chas just looked at him so he told her the truth. “Terribly,” he said. “I… I hate myself for loving him. I hate myself for feeling like this.”

“He won’t leave her,” Chas said quietly.

“I’ve known that for weeks,” Aaron said, looking into his pint glass so he could avoid his mothers eyes. “Months. It doesn’t make it hurt any less.”

“No, I know,” Chas said, smiling sadly at him. She gripped his hand tightly, and Aaron squeezed back. They didn’t have the chance to say anything else because Robert walked in, looking breathless, eyes running over Aaron’s figure.

“I need to talk to you,” he said. Chas looked like she wanted to argue but Aaron stood up, waiting for it.

“Go on, then,” he said. “What do you have to say?” Chas got up and left the room but purposefully kept the door open.

“I’m here to…” Robert swallowed, his eyes running over Aaron’s face, down his throat to his chest, then back up to his eyes. This was harder than he thought, it always was with Aaron. Things he’d planned to say got swallowed up in that intense look from his eyes. Breaking up with him, finally giving him up was going to be so difficult.

“Chrissie and I… we’re… leaving the village.”

“What?” Aaron asked, face falling. “She’s staying with you?”

“Yes,” Robert said, trying to keep this simple, matter of fact. But he didn’t trust himself to look into Aaron’s eyes. “I’ve begged her for another chance. She’s going to stay with me, as long as we leave the village.”

“Leaving won’t turn it off,” Aaron said. Robert could feel the heaviness of his gaze, but still couldn’t look at him, eyes on the floor.

“This, us… it’s over. It has to be.”

“Then why won’t you even look at me?” Aaron asked. “Be a man, tell me to my face you’re ending it.”

Robert looked up, getting lost in Aaron’s beautiful eyes for a moment. “It’s over,” he said, not looking away. “Us, it is over.” He spoke slowly, making sure every syllable was clear. Ignoring the gut wrenching pain he was causing himself as well as Aaron from the look on his face.

“Please don’t look at me like that,” Robert said. “You knew this was coming.”

“I know you love me,” Aaron said quietly, feeling like now was probably the best time to risk everything he had, no matter how stupid he might end up looking. “I know you do, and you keep lying to yourself.” Robert looked down again, but Aaron wasn’t having it. He put his hand under his chin, forcing Robert to look at him. “Why’re you pushing for the wrong person?”

“She’s not the wrong person.” But the words sounded hollow, even to himself. He believed what he was saying when he was with Chrissie. But when he was with Aaron, everything was totally different. His love for Chrissie seemed to pale in comparison with the man standing in front of him right now.

“I love you,” Aaron said. “Please don’t do this, don’t leave your home for her.” He knew it was begging, and embarrassing but he had to continue. “Don’t leave me.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Then don’t.” Aaron kissed him, very lightly. Just a simple brush of lips, teasingly. He did it again, knowing it was only a matter of time before Robert gave in to the urge. He needed Robert to be the one to make this mean something more.

“Oh, Aaron…” he whispered, deepening the kiss, grabbing him tightly, feeling his body against his own. Robert couldn’t stop himself, with every touch he needed more. Aaron’s warmth, his smell, the taste of his lips on his, God, he was like an addiction.

“Don’t leave,” Aaron said firmly, pulling back.

“Just once more,” Robert whispered, hand sliding down Aaron‘s back and lower, suggestively. “A goodbye.”

In one instant, things snapped into focus. He was and would always come second with Robert. Chrissie was first. “Get out,” Aaron said. “You’re not going to fuck me as a goodbye, then leave so I never see you again.” Aaron meant the words, even though his body ached for Robert’s touch. He had to hold strong right now. “Don’t call me, ever again,” Aaron said. “I can’t do this.” He took a step away from Robert, knowing his resolve would break if Robert kissed him again. The temptation to have him in bed would be too great.

“Right, bye then,” Robert said easily after a long moment of silence. Aaron closed his eyes as he left, waiting for the waves of pain to stop. They didn’t. With his eyes still closed, he felt Chas draw him into a hug, then the tears came and he couldn’t stop them. He’s sobbing on his mothers shoulder like he’s five years old, but he can’t stop.

“I… didn’t know it would hurt like this. Him choosing her.”

“I know, love,” she said, soothing hands rubbing circles on his back. “It’ll get better.” Neither of them believe her.

* * *

 

Chas had watched the entire conversation between Aaron and Robert through the open door, her heart breaking for her son. She knew Aaron loved Robert, but to hear him saying it as bluntly as that, begging him to stay made tears spring to her eyes. Aaron deserved so much more than this. What did surprise her was how hurt Robert seemed, how much pain he seemed to be in. If he was faking it, he was a bloody good actor. Once Robert had left, she’d seen her son completely fall apart and couldn’t help but hold him. She hated how much he loved that monster. It was breaking him in two, and she knew that. All she could was be there for him, and help him pick up the pieces Robert had left behind.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've realised I've sort of written myself into a hole, so for the purposes of this fic, Lachlan doesn't exist. Hope no one minds too much.

Aaron hadn’t slept. He was running over their last conversation on a loop in his mind, couldn’t stop it. He couldn’t believe Robert had actually chosen Chrissie. Affairs never worked, the married man never left his wife. And yet, Aaron had hoped. He’d never felt anything this physical, this real. This mind numbingly deep. Jackson had been different. He hated comparing them in his head, but Robert was everything. He hadn’t known it was possible to love like this, to love him so much that he hated him. He hated Robert for what he was doing to him.

“How’d you sleep?” Chas asked, coming into the kitchen. Aaron shrugged, not wanting to get into it. For the moment his eyes were dry and he’d stopped crying. He’d like to keep it that way.

“What the hell have you done!” Both Chas and Aaron looked at the door where Victoria had appeared, looking angry, all five foot of her bristling with rage. “He’s gone!”

“Gone?” Chas asked. “That was fast.”

“This is all your fault!” Victoria said, pointing at Aaron. He just let her rant, she clearly needed to get it off her chest. The only thing running through Aaron’s mind was two words. Robert… gone…

“Why would you sleep with him and wreck his marriage? What the hell is wrong with you?!”

Aaron found his voice with difficulty. “I didn’t force him to screw me.”

“Aaron, I thought you were better than that!” Vic shouted. “I’ve only just got my brother back and now he’s gone. Again! And it’s all your fault!”

“I think you should back off,” Chas said, knowing the effect this was having on Aaron. She couldn’t remember seeing him look quite as defeated as he did right now.

“I love him,” Aaron said, feeling the tears brewing again. He blinked them away, caught between anger and crying. “This is not my fault. Not _all_ my fault. I fell in love with him. And him being gone hurts me just as much as it hurts you, Vic.”

“Aaron…” Vic said, surprised by that outburst. She hadn’t expected it to be real between Robert and Aaron, just cheap easy sex. The look on his face told her that wasn’t true. When Robert had told her, he’d just been succinct. In a _“I’ve had an affair, I’m leaving, bye Vic_ ” kind of way.

“I can’t talk about it any more,” Aaron said. “He’s made his choice, I’m going for a run.” Chas and Victoria watched him go, silent for a moment until Vic turned to her.

“He actually… thought he’d leave Chrissie for him?” Vic asked, face blank with shock.

“Apparently,” Chas said darkly. “Look, I'm not exactly happy that my son was sleeping with a married man, but he is really hurting Vic. Go easy on him, okay?” She nodded, more surprised than anything else. Robert had always screwed around, she thought this was exactly the same, just with a man. Which is why she’d come over here to yell at Aaron in the first place. Now she saw that that wasn’t the case. Did Robert feel the same?

* * *

 

Robert had spent four highly uncomfortable hours driving southwards. Chrissie had made some calls and they’d found a holiday cottage they could rent until they found somewhere more permanent. The car journey had been silent, they’d both packed only essentials and while Lawrence hadn’t been happy, he’d accepted Chrissie’s decision. Though Robert could still read the desire that Lawrence had to punch him. He had that one coming one day, he knew that.

“You’re going to have to talk to me,” Robert said. “Eventually. Otherwise we might as well turn back.”

“I don’t want to go back,” she said. “I’m just quiet because I’m trying to wipe the mental image of you on your knees in front of the local mechanic.” Robert didn’t feel this was the most opportune moment to mention that Aaron wasn’t a mechanic any longer.

“If you’re not prepared to forgive me, there is no point,” Robert said, pulling the car over to look at her.

“I want to,” she said, looking at him. “I will, it’s just going to take time.” Robert’s phone rang and he looked at it.

“Okay if I answer it?” he asked.

“Who is it?” she asked, peering at the screen.

“Vic. She’s my sister, I have to speak to her.”

“Fine,” she said. “Could do with some fresh air anyway.” Chrissie got out of the car while Robert answered the call.

“Vic, what is it?”

“Are you in love with Aaron?”

“Blunt and to the point as usual,” Robert said. “Hi sis, how are you?”

“Stop putting me off and answer the question Rob.”

“I’m married,” he said, which wasn’t an answer and they both knew it.

“I went to shout at him this morning,” Victoria said. “For messing up peoples lives. He’s… upset Rob, really, really upset.”

“Look, Aaron…” oh dear. Just saying his name caused a wave of pain he hadn’t expected He swallowed and tried again. “He’s not my problem.”

“Robert, he’s…”

“He’s a grown man, he knew what he was getting into.”

“How long?” Victoria asked.

“I thought you were going to say you would miss me, living just up the road from you. Something about missing your big brother?” Robert said, wanting to change the subject.

“How long?”

“Before Christmas,” Robert admitted. She could easily get the truth from Aaron if she wanted anyway.

“Then why did you marry her?”

It was on the tip of his tongue to say “I don’t know” but he resisted. “Because I love her.”

Victoria scoffed and hung up the phone. If he couldn’t even convince his sister, how would he convince Chrissie? He’d have to put a better act on, that’s all. Because this was how his life was going to be. It had to be. Chrissie came back to the car.

“She okay?”

“Fine,” Robert said. “Just wanted to say goodbye.”

“Good,” Chrissie said. “I like Vic.” Robert smiled, glad that Chrissie was at least trying.

“Did I tell you about the time we tried to play monopoly?” Robert said, taking the focus away from Aaron. Chrissie forced a smile and let him change the subject.

* * *

 

  
**Three days later.**

“I need your help.” Chas looked at Paddy desperately over the bar.

“I only need one guess, Aaron,” Paddy said, not even a question.

“He talks to you,” Chas said. “I can’t get a word out of him. Not even a hello since Robert’s gone. He‘s locking himself away and I know he‘s crying and not sleeping.”

“Has Robert gone for good?”

“God, I hope so,” Chas said fervently. “But Aaron’s hurting and I don’t know how to help him. Can you…?”

“I don’t know if he’ll confide in me,” Paddy said. “But I will give it a go. 

“Thank you,” Chas said fervently. “He’s at the scrap yard.”

“Oh. I don’t even get my pint first?”

“No,” she said, smiling at him. “Please Paddy.”

“Have one waiting for me when I get back.” She smiled, nodding in agreement.

* * *

 

Paddy pulled his car outside the scrap yard, already seeing Aaron. He was attacking a car with much more venom than was warranted. “Woah!” Paddy shouted, trying to get his attention. Aaron dropped the bar in his hand, looking at Paddy. “Where’s Adam?”

“Probably hiding from me,” Aaron said. If Chas had been serious about Aaron not saying any words at all, Paddy had at least got a sentence from him. “Go away, Paddy.” Aaron spoke lightly but Paddy didn’t leave. He was too used to Aaron pushing away the people who could help him.

“I’m here, if you need to talk,” Paddy said, leaning against the bonnet of a car.

“I don’t want to talk,” Aaron said gruffly. “And you’re only here because mum’s worried.”

“That’s not true,” Paddy said. Aaron glared at him. “Okay, she did want me to talk to you, but I’ve just been trying to… give you some space. I didn’t know if you’d appreciate me sticking my nose in.”

“Why not?” Aaron said. “Whole village is talking about it. I’m officially the other woman, home wrecker and worse.” Paddy had to admit, he’d heard a lot of unsavoury things about Aaron in the village gossip, but he knew that would die down. And that wasn’t what was bothering Aaron either, he was too hardened for that.

“I’m sorry,” Paddy said.

“Why? You and mum told me what was going to happen. Told me he’d chose his wife when push came to shove. Aren’t you glad to be proved right?”

“Aaron, I know you’re prickly and I know you’re hurt, but neither of us wanted this,” Paddy said calmly. “We care about you.”

Aaron picked up a bit of scrap and forcefully threw it in the opposite direction to Paddy, needing to vent some of his frustrations out. “I keep waiting to see him,” Aaron admitted.

“It’s not like we were at it every day, despite what I hear from the gossips… But I would see him. Getting coffee at the cafe, or just passing in the car. I’d catch glimpses of him and… I keep waiting to see him, Paddy. Around every corner, and then it hits me that I don’t. That I won’t. We text, we called each other all the time, and it‘s been totally cut off now.”

“I know,” Paddy said quietly. “I know you love him.”

“God, it hurts,” Aaron admitted. “I miss him so much. All I want is one text, and…”

“He’s married,” Paddy said, careful to speak very gently, not wanting Aaron to lash out or close himself down. Two polar opposites of his behaviour, neither of which were usually very helpful.

“I know,” Aaron said. “But… God.” Aaron rubbed his hand viciously over his face. “It hurts.”

“I know,” Paddy said.

“That’s not helping me.”

“What do you want?” Paddy asked. “Me to tell you that it’ll get better?”

“Will it?” Aaron asked.

“Probably,” Paddy said. “But probably not for a while.” Aaron shook his head, looking at the ground. “Slack off early, let me buy you a drink. You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to.”

“You mean show my face so mum stops worrying,” Aaron asked lowly.

“She’s your mum, she will worry about you until the day she dies,” Paddy said. “I worry about you too. Come on, one drink.”

“Yeah,” he said. “Yeah, okay, but in the back. I think I've given everyone enough to talk about for one week.” Paddy nodded in understanding.

They were silent for the entire car journey, until Aaron was sat on the sofa, pint in hand. Paddy couldn’t help but notice how often he was checking his phone.

“He isn’t going to call,” Paddy said not sure whether being gentle or the blunt truth was the best option here.

“Don’t stop me hoping though.” Aaron switched his phone off and dropped it on the coffee table. Paddy was right, he had to stop looking at it. It wasn’t helping.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mentions of Aaron's self harm are made here, nothing too graphic though. Just a warning for you. Enjoy.

_**A few days later.** _

Aaron still missed him badly. He hadn’t heard a word from Robert, like he’d vanished off the face of the earth. The pain from Roberts absence was like a bad tooth ache. Knowing it hurts, but can’t help prodding it anyway, just to check how much pain it causes. Chas had been better with him lately, knowing he needed space and time, but pleased that he seemed to be responding to questions now, like how did you sleep? Stuff like that. It took effort to make his brain answer them, but he knew his mum worried, so he did his best. Adam was trying to brighten him up at work too. That wasn’t helping in the slightest. Every time he was in the portacabin he imagined Robert pushing him up against the door, remembered his burning kisses all over his own skin. Work was getting trickier as time went on, and he couldn’t stay in the cabin longer for half an hour at a time before he went crazy. With the result that Adam was doing most of the paperwork, and Aaron was taking out his frustrations on the scrap metal outside.

One morning after his shower, Aaron stood in front of the mirror, only half dressed, waiting for the steam to vanish so he could really see himself clearly. Once the glass was clear, he looked, really studied himself. His scars littering his stomach and chest. Pale and old, but still there, still reminders of the past and what he’s capable of doing to himself. He couldn't help himself, his mind went back to how Robert had reacted the first time he’d seen them. He’d paused, clearly surprised but hadn’t said anything. Instead his lips had followed the faint lines on his skin, tongue tasting him. At the time it had sent Aaron wild with want and desire.

When they were being intimate, Robert had never made him feel ashamed of his scars. At other times, yes, Robert had thrown them back at him, to hurt him. But then that had always been part of Robert’s attraction, the fire, the passion. That wafer thin line between love and hate that they both felt all the time they were together.

Aaron couldn’t stop his brain from thinking of the way Robert touched him, Aaron's fingertips tracing his own scars as he got lost in the memory. They’d had urgent desperate sex often enough, but it wasn’t always like that. Half the time it would be much slower, much more intimate. Less about satisfying a need, more about being with each other. That had been much more important than a quick fuck. Even now he could still feel Robert whispering his name against his skin, the soft and passion filled “Aaron” that he couldn’t forget. Didn’t want to forget either.

The bathroom door opened and Aaron whipped around, seeing Chas there. “Oh no,” she whispered, eyes running over him quickly. “Tell me you’re not hurting yourself again!” Aaron looked down and realised what it would look like, not wanting to admit that he’d been trying to remember exactly how Robert had touched his skin.

“I’m not,” he said shortly, throwing his shirt back on.

“Aaron!” she called as he rushed downstairs, wanting to escape the interrogation he knew was coming.

“Aaron, don’t you dare!” Chas shouted. “We have to talk about this!”

He stopped in the kitchen, bracing his arms on the kitchen counter as Chas followed him. One thing he did not want to do right now was talk about Robert and he knew that’s where this was going.

“Mum, don’t,” he said, not looking at her.

“Are you cutting again?” she asked, and without looking he knew she was crying.

“No.”

“I hate it when you lie to me.”

“I’m not lying.”

“Then what was that in the bathroom?” Chas asked. Aaron shook his head, still not looking at her. 

“I thought the door was locked.”

“Aaron…”

“I’m not hurting myself,” he said. “And I’m not going to do it either. Robert’s hurt me enough to last a lifetime.”

“Aaron…”

“You really want to know what I was doing?” he said, snapping at the sad, defeated tone in his mothers voice. “I was remembering what it felt like when he touched me. How for a few minutes nothing mattered. There, happy? How pathetic am I, that even though I hate him, I still want to feel his touch on me? It’d be less tragic if I was cutting again.”

“Aaron…” Chas said sadly.

“I’m leaving.” Aaron couldn’t take it any more. He barged past his mother, picking up his coat.

“Where are you going?”

“Out.” Chas watched him leave, feeling so sad for the pain he was clearly going through, that she couldn’t reach him. She couldn’t help him. If she ever got her hands on Robert Sugden, she’d throttle him with her bare hands.

* * *

 

Aaron didn’t know exactly where he’d ended up. He’d just walked until he was out of the village, and until the need to shout and scream had faded a very little bit. He sat down on the road side, looking over Emmerdale, wondering what now. What he hadn’t counted on was the car that pulled up along side him. Adam was driving, but Vic jumped out, looking at Aaron, eyes wide and worried.

“How’d you know where to find me?” Aaron asked quietly as Vic sat down next to him and Adam drove off.

“We saw you walking past the house,” Vic said. They’d had an argument in the car about who should deal with Aaron, and Vic had won, saying that she knew Robert better. Adam hadn’t liked it, but had agreed. He’d dealt with Aaron all week at the scrap yard and knew he wasn’t getting through to him. “I’m sorry,” Vic said. “For shouting at you last week. I…”

“I deserved it,” Aaron said, well and truly feeling sorry for himself. Victoria put an arm around him, wanting to comfort her friend. She loved her brother but there was no doubt that Aaron was hurting, and it was due to Robert.

“What can I do?” she said.

“Nothing,” he said stiffly. Victoria kept her arm around his shoulders and he let her. For a few moments it felt good to take some comfort from someone who didn’t need anything in return.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hadn't expected this chapter to be ready so soon, so two for one today! Hope you enjoy.

Robert isn’t sleeping well, and he can’t remember the last time he had restless nights like this. All the things he’s done in the past never really made him have trouble sleeping. He might have felt guilty while awake but it never invaded his dreams. Not any longer. He’d been on the south coast with Chrissie for ten days now and the entire time he‘s been trying to pretend he‘s fine. And he couldn’t deny it to himself any longer, he missed Aaron so much it felt like a punch to the gut whenever his mind dwelled on it. Which was all the time. Chrissie wasn’t enough for him any more, not nearly enough.

It was late and Robert sat on the sofa, glass of whisky in hand as he stared into space. He didn’t turn, but could feel it when Chrissie came into the room, her heels clicking on the floor. They’d barely touched since coming here, though conversation was now easier between them. Chrissie had stopped glaring at him at every opportunity and would now speak to him normally. Small moves towards progress.

“Not coming to bed?” Chrissie asked, smiling slightly, coming into view and taking the whisky glass from him, putting it on the coffee table. Robert let a smile on his own face. They’d not shared a bed since coming here, the cottage had two bedrooms after all.

“Didn’t know if you’d want me to,” Robert said, making sure his eyes were bright, full of the charm she’d fell for in the first place, a smirk in place. Chrissie leaned over him kissing him and he wrapped his arms around her. Her lips felt wrong, tasted wrong. He’d been longing for some attention for nearly two weeks now, but this wasn’t the person he wanted it from. Her overpowering perfume surrounded him as he ran a hand through her hair as the kiss got deeper. Her smooth sharp manicured nails against his face were wrong. All wrong. She came up for air, smiling at him as she slipped her heels off.

“Meet me upstairs?”

“Yeah,” he said. She smiled and left the room, leaving Robert to follow her. He didn’t know if he could do this, keep the mask on and pretend that Chrissie was who he wanted. That he didn’t spend hours at night tossing and turning as he dreamt of Aaron’s body against his own. Just before he went upstairs, his phone buzzed with a text message.

_A: I hate you._

Robert spent too long looking at those simple words, feeling hollow. He didn’t hate Aaron, couldn’t. But this was a bloody mess of his own creation so he couldn’t exactly blame Aaron, could he? And if Aaron didn’t want him, he might as well go to Chrissie who clearly did.

* * *

 

In the morning, Robert felt terrible. Even the hot water of the shower couldn’t distract him, keep him clean. He’d slept with Chrissie last night and the entire time he’d felt so guilty. He’d felt like he was cheating on Aaron. Which was completely ridiculous, because he wasn’t the one he was married to. He had only ever been an affair, a cheap easy affair which had turned into something so beautifully complicated. Aaron was complicated, it was part of the attraction. Robert wasn’t stupid enough to deny that.

The hot water kept drowning him, but it wasn’t enough to wash off Chrissie’s touch. He felt disgusted with himself and that was the moment he knew. No matter how much he wanted this marriage to work, no matter how much he wanted to want Chrissie, he didn’t. And when Aaron had asked him to leave her, he’d made exactly the wrong choice. When he got out of the shower after using what felt like all the hot water in the south of England, he checked his phone.

_A: Sorry, drunk texting last night. Won’t do it again._

Robert smiled at the message, hoping it’d been something like that. He didn’t like the thought of Aaron hating him when completely sober. He debated what to reply, not even waiting until he was properly dressed.

_R: Don’t worry about it. What’s the score? ;)_

* * *

It took Aaron a moment to realise what he was talking about, what with his hangover and headache. Then it hit him, it was the Snooker world championships right now. If he hadn’t been so distracted with his personal life, he’d have remembered that. He always enjoyed watching the snooker and Aaron flicked the TV on, trying to find the match. It didn’t take long and he couldn’t resist texting Robert back, he didn’t even try to hold back.

_A: 1-1 Selby McGill. Just started._ Aaron didn’t add more information than that, not sure what to say or if Robert would want to hear it. As time ticked on, Aaron convinced himself that Robert wasn’t going to reply. It took forty two minutes for the next message to come through (Aaron hated himself for timing it).

_R: Criminal. Even I could’ve potted that black._

Aaron realised that Robert was watching the match too, as the TV showed a replay of a missed easy shot. And Robert didn't like watching snooker either, always said it was a boring sport to watch. The warm glow of the tenuous connection faded almost as soon as it arrived. Robert was more than two hundred miles away and he could still control his mood. Aaron felt cold, knowing he was still with his wife, probably hiding his phone so she didn’t see the messages.

_A: I can’t. Don’t text again._

Robert looked at those words, feeling like he’d been totally cut off. Aaron had sent precisely four texts over the last twenty four hours, and it’d meant more to him than two weeks alone with Chrissie. He knew exactly what he had to do now. He turned his phone off and very slowly took his wedding ring off. This wasn’t going to be pretty.

* * *

 

“How’s the head?” Chas asked as Aaron came through from the back of the pub, smiling at him. While drinking himself into a stupor last night might not be the best thing, from Chas’s point of view it was better than bottling it up.

“Fine,” he said, still grumpy. “Just nicking this.” He took the orange juice out of the fridge behind the bar.

“Aaron…”

“What?” he said, turning to look at his mother.

“You will get over him.”

“Right, thanks for that,” he said, scowling at her in a way which meant she wished she’d kept her mouth shut as he returned to the back room. Chas sighed as Victoria came from behind the bar, delivering two meals. When Chas had served them, Victoria was still waiting.

“Can I help you or have you got a kitchen to get back to?” Chas asked.

“Um… judging from Aaron’s face as I passed him, I don’t think he knows, but…”

“But what?” Chas asked. Vic bit her lip uncomfortably.

“I just got off the phone from Rob.”

“God, I never want to hear that mans name for as long as I live,” Chas muttered. “What’s he got to say for himself this time?”

“He’s coming back.”

“What?” Chas said. “Why?”

“Without Chrissie. I think… he’s coming back for…”

“Don’t say Aaron,” Chas begged.

“I just got that impression on the phone,” Victoria said, shrugging. “He says it’s over with Chrissie.”

Chas felt like banging her head against a brick wall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As this is set in April 15, I felt okay including the snooker Championship which always takes place in April / early May (and I go up to Sheffield to see it when I can get tickets). Hope it works, and thanks for the encouragement!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've had a really bad day at work, so sorry for the later update than planned. Bosses really suck at times!  
> Anyway, real life out of the way, enjoy!

Chas hadn’t told Aaron about the conversation with Vic. Knowing Robert Sugden, he’d change his mind by the time he was halfway here. And there was no point in worrying Aaron or getting him upset if Robert was never going to show his face anyway. Which was why she was surprised when Aaron looked at his phone, and jumped up, trying to go through to the front of the pub.

“Everything all right love?” she asked.

“Yeah,” he said. “Why?” Something in her tone must have given her away.

“I just worry about you.”

“Adam wants a drink,” Aaron explained. “Don’t worry, I’m not having alcohol, I think this headaches enough of a reminder.” Chas smiled at him, letting him go as she bit her lip. _Please Robert, please leave him alone,_ she silently begged, knowing it was futile.

* * *

 

Robert parked outside the Woolpack, thinking about what he would say to Aaron as the rain lashed down on the car. It’d been both a long drive when he’d been desperate to see Aaron, and not nearly long enough because he hadn’t even begun to plan what he was going to say. He took the keys out of the ignition but didn’t leave the car, still thinking. Then he closed his eyes in agitation. He probably wouldn’t know what he was going to say until he was standing in front of Aaron. That always seemed to be how they worked, whatever he planned usually fell apart when Aaron looked at him with those piercing eyes that saw straight through him.

“Sitting here’s not getting it done,” he said to himself. He got out of the car, praying that Aaron was in the back of the pub. He didn’t fancy an audience.

* * *

 

“You were hitting it hard last night,” Adam said.

“Do me a favour, we’re not mentioning his name tonight,” Aaron said firmly. He’d been moping around for long enough, a brave face was now required, to pretend he’d forgotten about him.

“Fine,” Adam said. “Are you rejoining the land of the living then?”

“Not worth it, is he?” Aaron said with a shrug. He downed a healthy sip of his coke, then looked at Adam who’d just punched his arm. “What?”

“Robert.” Aaron turned, seeing him standing in the middle of the pub, everyone watching him. Aaron took him in, hating how good he looked. It was clearly raining outside, his hair was damp, rain spots on his jacket too. Aaron had tried to forget how physically attractive he was, how just the sight of Robert made him want to take his clothes off and screw the consequences. Everyone watched Robert as he made his way over to Aaron. After the initial thrill of seeing him, Aaron realised he didn’t want to talk to him. Robert chose someone else, and deny it all he wanted to, it still hurt like hell.

“Aaron…”

“No,” Aaron said, getting up and walking behind the bar, painfully aware that half the village was in the pub, all silent and watching how this was going to play out.

“Please, I need to talk to you,” Robert said, following him around the bar. Chas looked like she wanted to stop him, when Aaron turned, glaring at him. All the hate he could muster focused into one stare at Robert.

“Wife know you’re here?” Aaron asked bitterly.

“She’s not my wife any more.” Even with his eyes focused entirely on Robert, Aaron could tell the hush in the room at those words.

“Come to your senses, have you?” Aaron asked.

“Do we have to do this here?” Robert asked, looking around the Woolpack, clearly uncomfortable with every one watching them.

“No, _you_ can go anywhere you like,” Aaron said, pointedly. “I already know you’re ashamed of me.” Aaron moved through to the back room and Robert desperately wanted to follow him, but Chas was in the way. And she wasn’t budging either.

“Come on, I need to talk to him,” Robert said.

“Not going to happen,” she said firmly. “He’s been hurting, you’re not going to cause him any more damage.”

Robert looked at her, sighing. Unless he was prepared to hit a woman, he was going to have to let Aaron go. For now. Robert walked out of the pub, ignoring the buzz from the villagers and instantly went around the back, to try and find Aaron. Locked. Either he was unlucky, or Chas had got there first. Robert bit his lip as he debated what to do. Eventually he made up his mind, and waited outside the pub for Adam, thankful it had stopped raining.

* * *

 

“Give me your phone,” Robert said twenty minutes later as Adam came out of the pub.

“You what?” Adam said laughing at him, thinking Robert was joking.

“Adam, give me your phone.”

“No,” Adam said. Why now? Robert fumed to himself. Why did he pick now to be difficult? “You’re not using my phone to trick Aaron into picking up. He doesn’t want to speak to you.”

Robert was annoyed. “Just give me your phone. Five minutes, then if he doesn’t want to talk to me, I’ll leave and I won’t try again,” Robert said. “Please.”

“Fine,” Adam said, getting his phone out of his pocket. “But he’s barely spoken since you left, you know. If you make him worse…”

“I won’t,” Robert said, gripping onto the phone like a life raft. He dialled Aaron’s number quickly.

“Not in the mood mate,” Aaron said, picking up.

“It’s me,” Robert said. Silence on the line. “You weren’t picking up

“And you still don’t get the message?” Aaron asked. But he didn’t hang up, he kept the connection going. For a few seconds they both listened to the other breathe.

“I need to talk to you. In person. Please, Aaron.”

“Where are you?”

“Outside the pub. Couldn’t get past your mother.” Aaron let out a small laugh.

“I bet you couldn’t. I’ll be down in five minutes.”

“Great,” Robert said. He hung up and threw the phone back to Adam. “Thanks.”

“Robert, don’t mess him around,” Adam said.

“I don’t remember asking for your advice,” Robert said easily. Adam sighed and walked off, leaving Robert alone for a few moments, until he heard the crunch of Aaron‘s feet on the gravel.

“What do you want to talk about?” Aaron asked.

“I’ve left her.”

“I don’t believe you,” Aaron said after a moment. Just because he’d dreamed about it didn’t mean it would actually happen.

“Then why am I here?” Robert asked. “I’ve come back for you. I hated being away from you. Come on, Aaron. I’m trying here.”

“You left without looking back,” Aaron said quietly. “You let me go so easily, Robert. I can’t just… forgive that now you’ve changed your mind. Tomorrow, once we’ve slept together you’ll go crawling back to her. You always do.”

“Not this time,” Robert said quietly. “I’m done with her. I can’t… be with her any more.”

“Why not?” Aaron said. Robert knew perfectly well he was being dared to say it.

“I’m in love with you,” Robert said quietly. “I don’t want to be apart from you any more. I can’t.”

“And I can’t be with you,” Aaron said. “Not when you pick me up and throw me away whenever you feel like it. It hurts too much, Robert. I can’t do it.”

Robert closed the gap and kissed him, feeling confident Aaron wouldn’t be able to resist him. It took only a moment, but he responded to Robert’s touch, deepening the kiss and wrapping his arms around Robert, holding him tight. Aaron couldn’t help himself, he’d been alone and in pain for weeks now, and Robert’s touch was the only thing that helped.

“You’ve really left her?”

“Yeah,” Robert said. “Because she wasn’t you.” He kissed him again, this time more heated, neither of them caring that they were on the street where anyone could and would see them. It no longer mattered who was watching.

“Robert…” Aaron whispered, his breath rushing across his lips, the taste of Aaron was all Robert needed at the moment. And the feel of Aaron in his arms, solid, warm and real. Robert wanted him, badly but wondered if…

“Come on,” Aaron muttered, lacing his hand through Robert’s and leading them towards the pub.

“Chas…”

“Sod her,” Aaron said. “I want you.” Robert wasn’t about to argue.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter really didn't go as I planned, so I hope it's enjoyed anyway! Thank you to those who're encouraging me to do more of this one!

Robert woke up in the morning, feeling disorientated. He’d never woken up here before. Usually he just dozed before running out, going back to where he was supposed to be. He turned, seeing Aaron watching him, shadows under his eyes. He seemed wary, uncomfortable. “You haven’t slept, have you?” Robert said.

“Waiting for you to leave,” Aaron said stiffly. “Go back to her.”

“I’m not going to do that,” Robert said. “I’m done with her, I meant it.” He held up his hand, no wedding ring as if it was all that simple.

“Bet she didn’t take that well,” Aaron said, beginning to relax a little.

“No,” Robert said. “Screaming, insults. I think all of my possessions at Home Farm will be burnt by now.

“Is that not a little dramatic?” Aaron asked, smiling slightly.

“Chrissie always was dramatic,” Robert countered.

“I can’t talk about her,” Aaron said, getting out of bed. Robert’s wife was not who he wanted to think about right now. And while last night with Robert had been incredible, it didn’t magically fix everything. Robert watched Aaron’s body as he moved, getting dressed. He threw a T shirt on and Robert let his eyes move away from his chest.

“I’ve chosen you, Aaron,” Robert said quietly.

“Now,” Aaron reminded him. “You've chosen me now. After you tried it with your wife for a few weeks and realised that actually, you still like sleeping with men.”

“Aaron, are we really going to argue about this?” Robert asked, sitting up and watching him. Aaron looked away from him, still seeming odd. “Why are you so angry?”

“I’m not angry, Rob, I’m hurt.” Aaron ran a hand through his hair in irritation. “And that’s not going to fade overnight, just because you’re here.”

“I thought…”

“What, it’s all so simple in your head?” Aaron asked. “Robert’s made his decision so the rest of us just have to fall in line with how you think the world should be?”

“Do you even want to be with me?” Robert asked.

“Of course I do,” Aaron said, eyes catching his for a long moment before he looked away. “It’s just going to take time. Good luck with getting out of here without being attacked by my mum.” Aaron left the bedroom and Robert sighed, listening to him going down the stairs. That hadn’t gone quite as planned.

* * *

 

Robert, now dressed went down stairs. Before he got to the door, he bumped into Chas, literally. He put his hands on her arms so she wouldn’t fall over. “Oh God, you’re here,” she said, scowling at him.

“That surprises you?” Robert asked with his usual swagger. “Didn’t hear us last night?”

“I can always hope Aaron’d been out with another man, any one night stand would be better than _you_.”

“Good to know what you think of me,” Robert said easily, though the thought of Aaron with another man made his skin crawl.

“You’ll hurt him,” Chas said, shaking her head. She wasn’t shouting, knew there’d be no point, but it didn’t stop how convinced she was that it was true. “You will hurt him and push him and eventually you’ll push him too far.”

“I won’t hurt him,” Robert said. “Not again.”

“Of course you will, you’re incapable of treating anyone like an actual human being.”

“I love him,” Robert said quietly. “I won’t hurt him.”

“You don’t know the meaning of the word love,” Chas said, shaking her head. “Why can’t you leave him alone?”

“Chas, I know you don’t like me, but I need you to at least give me a chance and put up with me. Because I’m not going anywhere.”

Chas scoffed. “Why Aaron? Haven’t you got any other poor bloke you can get your claws into?”

“Aaron sees me,” Robert started. He knew he needed to get Chas on side, especially as he planned to be with Aaron for the foreseeable future. “He cuts through the bluster and bullshit I give everyone else, and he’s one of the few people who can actually see me. And he’s the only person who’s seen the real me, and stayed and loved me anyway. And I’m not going to apologise for it.”

Robert moved past her to the door, not having any intention of staying around her longer than absolutely necessary. When the door closed behind him, Chas turned to the kitchen, seeing Aaron there. From the look on his face, he’d clearly heard every word. Chas wanted to break the uncomfortable silence.

“I love you, I always will, but seriously? You need to get better taste in men," she said.

“I guess I am your son after all,” Aaron joked. Chas felt a small smile on her own face, in spite of herself.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the last chapter. Had to end it somewhere after all! Thank you for all the comments, kudos and subscriptions! Genuinely wouldn't have made it past Ch 1 without you.

Robert booked in to the B and B indefinitely, not entirely sure he’d be welcome at Aaron’s. This morning hadn’t gone as smoothly as he’d hoped, especially after the night before. He couldn’t blame Aaron, not really. But he knew (hoped?) they’d make it anyway. Yes, he tried to convince himself.

Once he’d dumped his stuff in his room, he went back to his car, driving up to Home Farm. He might be divorcing his wife as soon as possible, but he still had a stake in that business, and he was good at it. Though facing Lawrence wasn’t exactly high on his agenda, he knew he’d have to do it eventually. Better bite the bullet and get it over with.

Once he’d parked and walked into the office he came instantly face to face with Lawrence and knew this wouldn’t go well.

“You dare show your face here?” he asked, deathly quiet.

“Spoken to Chrissie then?” Robert said.

“How dare you!” Lawrence said.

“This business is partly mine,” Robert said firmly. “Just because Chrissie and I have split up…”

“You’ve chosen your dirty little affair over my daughter?!” Lawrence said, almost shaking with indignation.

“Would you be this pissed off if I was sleeping with another woman?”

“That’s…” Lawrence started, spluttering.

“So what? I like sleeping with men. You should understand that.”

“I’m not… I…” Lawrence was still spluttering in a way Robert couldn't help but find amusing.

“Deny it all you want, we’re not that different,” Robert said, smirking, knowing he was getting under his skin.

“Then why did you marry her?” he growled.

“Mistake,” Robert said easily. “Look, I’m here to work.”

“You are not welcome here,” Lawrence said. “Get out.”

“You can always buy me out,” Robert suggested, that smile on his face. “Then you’ll never see me again.”

“You’ll get more than your share in the divorce,” Lawrence said.

“Then you’re going to have to put up with me,” Robert said, sitting down behind his desk. He focused on the file in front of him, waiting until Lawrence left. When he was alone he allowed himself a smile. It felt good to be back on top of something.

* * *

 

“Get out, Robert.” It was half an hour later and Chrissie had appeared. He hadn’t even known she was back in the village.

“Don’t think I will,” he said.

“I am going to have to watch you with your hands all over that man,” she said, clearly disgusted by the thought. “Yes, I heard he took you back. More of a fool than I had him down for.”

“Don’t talk about him like that,” Robert said quietly. She could insult him all day long if she liked, but not Aaron.

“Oh, touched a nerve, have I?” she said, smiling wickedly. “Get out, unless you want me to get really nasty.”

“Chrissie…”

“You will hurt him,” she said. “You destroy everything you touch. If you really loved him, you’d leave him alone.”

“I can’t,” Robert said. “I’m sorry I hurt you. And you know me, I don’t do apologies.” She raised her eyebrows at that. “I didn’t mean for this to happen.”

“Just get out,” Chrissie said. “I’ll make it worth your while come the divorce. If it really is all about money.”

“Fine,” Robert said, getting up to leave.

“You’re so greedy,” she said to herself. “I don’t know how I missed it. Enjoy Aaron while it lasts. He‘ll see through you eventually.” Robert didn’t bother to answer that, instead going to the scrap yard. Aaron already could see through him, always had been able to. That was part of the attraction.

* * *

 

Aaron hadn’t been able to completely hide the smile when he’d got to work. He’d taken the teasing from Adam, knowing it was both well meant and that Adam was pleased Aaron was back to his old self.

“Before you say anything about him, I know he’s a terrible idea. I know what he’s like, what he’s capable of. It just… doesn’t seem to matter.”

“You’re an idiot,” Adam said easily.

“I know,” Aaron replied, shaking his head at the thought. He was meant to be filling out paperwork, but he kept getting distracted by memories of last night. Robert’s touch on him, the way it’d felt when Robert had stretched him, making it last. God, it’d felt so good, so right. In the moment he hadn’t even thought about the fact he’d come from Chrissie. When they were together and physical, she didn’t matter. She never had.

“Earth to Aaron?” Adam said.

“What?”

“Hi,” Robert said, coming in.

“I’ll… go. Try not to kill each other,” Adam said, leaving the portacabin.

“What’re you after?” Aaron asked, still sitting down as Robert leaned over the desk.

“Don’t leave me,” he said quietly. Aaron frowned because that wasn’t what he expected.

“Where’s that coming from?”

“I’m going to prove it to you,” Robert said, as if he was having a totally separate conversation. “That you can trust me, that I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.”

“Robert…”

“I don’t know how I’d manage if I lost you,” Robert admitted. “Actually I do know. And I don’t want to go back there. I need you.”

“I hate you sometimes,” Aaron said. “The way you make me feel. But then you’ll say or do things like this and I… I still love you. I just do.” Robert smiled and moved around the desk so he could kiss Aaron properly. He hadn’t heard those words for some time and they meant more than he could say.

“We’ll get through this together,” Robert said quietly.

“Get through what?” Aaron asked.

“My wife, or ex wife I suppose,” Robert started. “My divorce… your mother.” Aaron laughed. Robert kissed him again, and for a long time they couldn’t stop.

 


End file.
